Understanding Domestic Violence
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As a manager or coworker, you need to recognize domestic violence when you see it and refer the victim to the appropriate resource. Even though you are not an expert in domestic violence, you can still provide assistance.
Defining Domestic Violence
Domestic violence is a pattern of coercive behavior in which one person attempts to control another person through threats or actual use of physical, emotional, sexual, financial and spiritual abuse.
Domestic violence can include:
- Physical violence: Hitting, choking or pushing
- Emotional abuse: Name calling and threats
- Financial abuse: Preventing access to bank accounts, credit cards or other financial resources
- Sexual abuse: Any forced sexual activity
- Spiritual abuse: Keeping someone from going to a place of worship or using scriptures to justify abuse.
Warning Signs
Watch for these warning signs if you suspect someone at work may be abused.
Physical Signs
- Bruises or injuries attributed to falls, clumsiness or accidents
- Clothing that is inappropriate for the season, such as long sleeves, turtlenecks, scarves, hats and sunglasses
- Unusually heavy makeup
Job Performance
- Many absences and missed appointments
- Frequently late to work and leaves early
- Unusually high number of personal emails
- Changes in job performance including difficulty remembering instructions and making repeated errors
- Unusual number of phone calls from family members combined with a strong reaction to these calls
- Insensitive or insulting phone messages
Emotional Signs
- Acts frightened and anxious, lacks concentration, cries
- Uncharacteristically quiet, withdrawn and depressed
- Sensitive about home life or hints that there is trouble at home
Additional Signs
- Is in the middle of a divorce
- Changes addresses frequently
- Receives a disruptive personal visit from a present or former partner or spouse
- Asks coworkers not to talk about certain things if a partner or spouse shows up at work
- Observes that a partner or spouse has been critical or has demanded an accounting for time and activities
Important note: Taken individually, these signs may also be caused by accidents or personal issues that have nothing to do with an intimate partner, or life changes that may affect job performance. Look for a pattern over time.
Cycle of Violence
For a person in an abusive relationship, the cycle of violence can cause reactions and behaviors that may look confusing to us.
A person may come to work with a black eye and the next day receives a bouquet of roses from a partner. The victim understands what is happening and lives with the contradictions, but we may not understand.
Learn about the stages in the cycle »
Why Victims Stay
Many abused people do seek help, but their complaints may be ignored, minimized or dismissed by others including police, coworkers and even family members. Learn why victims stay »
