Cycle of Violence
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For a person in an abusive relationship, the cycle of violence can cause reactions and behaviors that may look confusing to us.
A person may come to work with a black eye and the next day receives a bouquet of roses from a partner. The victim understands what is happening and lives with the contradictions, but we may not understand.
1: Tension Building
During the Tension Building phase of the domestic violence dynamic, the abused partner walks on eggshells, monitors the abuser's behavior carefully and waits for violence to explode. The victim feels escalating fear and tension as the abuser exerts power and increases control.
2: Trigger
The Trigger is the excuse the abuser uses to act out against the victim. A trigger may be anything and is part of the abuse - a misplaced book, a piece of burned toast, a look or a wrinkle in a shirt.
3: Explosion
The Explosion is the act of violence against the victim. It could be physical, emotional or both.
4: Honeymoon
In the Honeymoon, the abuser has exerted control and wants to maintain it. The abuser promises "never to do it again," and says things like "if only you hadn't done that." Or the abuser sends flowers to work, buys the victim a present or some other token to make it okay again.
Over time the Honeymoon phase often disappears. At this point the cycle may go from Tension Building to Explosion repeatedly.
5: Fear, Hope & Denial
The victim experiences Fear during the Tension Building and the Explosion phases.
The victim may feel a sense of Hope during the Honeymoon phase.
During the entire cycle, the victim can be in Denial that anything is going to happen, denial while
being abused and denial that it will happen again.
