Blue Shield of California Foundation

 

Managers: What to Do

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As a manager, you have responsibilities if you suspect an employee is a victim of abuse or a perpetrator of abuse. Use these guides to help you assist your employee.

How to Respond to Victims and Perpetrators

Being prepared can help you respond correctly to an abuse situation in the workplace.

  • Understand your company policies and procedures regarding domestic violence.
  • Make it safe to talk about domestic violence -- put a poster in the lunchroom or safety cards in restrooms.
  • Recognize the warning signs of abuse.
  • Know how to support a victim in creating a safety plan for the workplace.
  • Understand state law regarding domestic violence.

Help Employees Create a Safety Plan

While the primary responsibility for decisions about safety lies with the victim, managers can assist their employees by helping them think through their safety plan -- especially in regard to the workplace.

Some topics to think about:

  • What can be done to be safer during a crisis at home?
  • What safety issues affect the employee's children?
  • Is there a need for leave time and is the work schedule safe?
  • Is the commute to and from work safe?
  • Are the parking arrangements at work safe?
  • What alternate escape route exists for use if the abuser comes to the workplace?
  • Does the employee need to leave the home for any length of time?
  • Does the employee need a new work phone number or a call screening system at work?
  • What emergency contact information can the employee provide the employer in case a crisis occurs at work?
  • How can designated staff contact persons care for the employee's children during work hours?
  • What important papers or personal items, including medication, will the employee need? How can they be collected and where can they be stored?
  • What health concerns might be impacted by domestic violence? For example: Health insurance or access to medicine.

You can also refer victims to the safety planning checklist.

Discussing Work Problems with a Victim

If you think deteriorating performance is related to domestic violence, you should prepare carefully before meeting with an employee.

1. Plan What to Say

  • Determine a good time and a comfortable place to talk.
  • Stay focused on the problem. Let the victim know that the discussion will remain confidential unless there is a safety risk to other employees.
  • Recognize that this may be a difficult conversation for both of you.

2. Discuss What You've Seen

  • Describe what you observed, without judgment.
  • Let the employee know that you and the organization believe that verbal, emotional or physical abuse in a relationship is never acceptable.
  • Listen without judgment. Give plenty of time to answer. Do not moralize or criticize.
  • Offer supportive statements: "I believe what you are telling me."
  • Stay focused on safety planning. Do not tell your employee to leave the abusive situation, since you could be placing them in more danger.
  • Allow the employee to make decisions. Do not try to solve the problem for the victim.
  • Discuss options for temporarily adjusting job expectations.

3. Provide Resources

  • Provide information about the organization's relevant benefits, policies and support.
  • Provide contact information for domestic violence hotlines, local shelters and other resources that may provide immediate assistance.
  • Ask the victim to fill out a safety plan and let the employee know that someone can help.

How to Approach a Victim

There are no magic words. Victims will often resist talking about their situation and are afraid to reveal information for many reasons.

To facilitate communication with a victim of domestic violence, make sure the victim:

  • Feels safe to talk about the abuse.
  • Knows that she or he will be believed and supported.

Also keep in mind:

  • The victim knows the situation and its dangers better than anyone.
  • Work may be the only place the victim feels safe.
  • Regaining self-sufficiency requires keeping a job, receiving a paycheck and maintaining medical benefits for the victim and any children involved.

Remember that job performance issues may be discussed at any time with an employee. It may take several conversations and a great deal of listening before the issue of domestic violence comes up, leading to appropriate referrals for assistance.

Domestic Violence Perpetrators at Work

Domestic violence perpetrators cannot be identified by a profile of demographic or other characteristics.

A domestic violence perpetrator can:

  • Be "invisible" due to exemplary or satisfactory job performance.
  • Deny or minimize problems.
  • Blame others -- especially the victim.
  • Gain sympathy by sharing convincing stories about his "difficult" partner.
  • Show "defensive" injuries such as scratch marks and bite marks.
  • Display inappropriate anger or resentment toward the victim.
  • Use the system to his or her advantage so the perpetrator appears to be the victim.
  • Be absent or late to work due to court or jail time or because of actions toward the victim.

Beliefs and Fears of a Perpetrator

You may hear things like this from a domestic violence perpetrator:

  • "It's how we communicate."
  • "I have the right to break my own things. That's not abuse."
  • "Stress pushes me over the top."
  • "If she didn't like it, she would leave."
  • "Someone has to be in charge."
  • "It's just a bad relationship."
  • "I never use violence when I am sober. If I am not using alcohol (or drugs), then I am not violent."
  • "When I get angry I have to let off steam. Just don't get in my way."
  • "Sometimes you just have to be rough to make your point."

Sample Domestic Violence Policies

Blue Shield Against Violence provides these sample policies to employers only for guidance in developing their own policies. Any policy developed by a company should always include the advice of that company's legal counsel.

Other Resources

Contact the California Family and Domestic Violence Referral Directory or the National Domestic Violence Hotline (800-799-SAFE, 800-787-3224 for the hearing impaired) for a list of resources in your area, including:

  • Shelters and related services -- safe, temporary housing and meals; support groups, individual counseling and court advocacy
  • Court advocates and legal services -- assistance in restraining orders, child support, divorce and custody and visitation. Many court advocate services are free or low cost.
  • Domestic violence counselors or therapists -- professionals in private practice or community agencies specialize in working with victims of abuse or batterers.
  • Community services -- temporary housing, emergency cash, food and clothing for people in crisis.
  • Batterers intervention programs -- court-mandated treatment for people convicted of battering.

Additional Resources